Why have I been quiet lately?

A church billboard in Vermont says, "Wisdom has two parts: 1. Having a lot to say. 2. Not having to say it.

I cannot claim to be wise. But I can surely be on my way to listening more and learning better.

For now, so many things engulf my heart: gratitude, love, peaceful joy. I'm afraid that when I begin to talk about it, it makes everything I feel so small.

I believe when the right motivation comes, the words will find its way to you.

In the meantime, allow me to grow in wisdom...

"à bientôt!"

Relinquish

I went to a cosmetic store recently to buy me some pregnant-friendly, no AHA, no bleach, paraben-free necessities. "Bare essentials" as marketed these days. It should really be cheaper for having less in it, I thought. The cashier must have read my mind: she decided to throw quite a number of samples in the bag. And perhaps to further ease her guilt, she happily added a 2011 desk calendar. It did make me happy. I love calendars!

The next minute I could, I excitedly looked at my new scheduler. To my surprise, not only did it not contain any of the Andy Warhol prints I'd hoped it had, it didn't even have dates in it. It just had days and blank pages. A whole year of blank pages made from 100% recyclable materials. Bare essentials. Nothing more.

The hardest part about a clean slate is deciding what to abjure. Habits die hard. Calories are stubborn. Characters are ingrained. Things are sentimental. People attached.

But it is true that the simplest way to be happy is to relinquish what makes you not.

It all comes with a price. But is must be well worth it.

After all, bare essentials is really all you need.

We're back!

It's been a while, that you probably wondered if Santa accidentally packed me up in his sack and brought me back to the North Pole. Well, close! On Christmas morning we learned I was pregnant. Since then it was a blur of gift wrappers and nausea.

Now I am back! Me and my little one within. I like being pregnant.

I get a seat on the bus (not all the time, but it is surely marked for me anyway), I glow like I'm keeping a little secret, and best of all, I don't feel bad anymore when someone asks if I am expecting when referring to my perennial bump.

So for the next 9 months I will be walking around with a little life inside of me. It feels elating. It feels empowering. It feels humbling. This is absolutely one of those moments I am truly happy to be alive. Having to experience life within life.

Although, you know you don't have to be a woman nor pregnant to feel that!

Happy New Year! May this year be full of life for you and me and all those we love.

Advent

Waiting, in the general sense of the word, is not very popular among many. But waiting for Christmas is an exception. The four Sundays before Christmas are usually full of cheer, hot chocolate, mulled wine, gift wrappers, presents, glitters, lists and more lists. The festivity is so contagious and commercialized that somehow along the way, its true meaning is lost. How ironic that from the asceticism of the Manger we now boast of an $11 million Christmas tree. A jewel-encrusted Christmas tree is a paradox. But I digress. This is the time for waiting. That's the beauty of this season. When every snow flake is not rushing to reach the ground. The fire flickering in no hurry. The winter nights in extended silence. We all await. Together.

In our stillness, let our hearts be filled with joy, peace and love.   

Mai pen rai

The mantra I lived by while in Chiang-mai. If Liz Gilbert has a word, I've got an expression. In different versions as spoken in different languages: in Kiswahili I subscribe to "hakuna matata", in French anything is "c'est pas grave", in Surigaonon I declare "way kaso", in Tagalog I claim "carry lang yan!". All of these do not necessarily translate literally to the same expression, but they all convey the same message to me- relax! In the imperative. I never realized how hard it is to truly relax. When you allow yourself to absolutely have no worries (hakuna matata), to take nothing as a big deal (c'est pas grave), to not mind (way kaso) and to just, be (carry lang yan). In Thailand I am often reminded that "mai pen rai". I still don't know what it exactly translates to, but I imagine it is in the line of "that's alright-never mind-do not worry-forget it-it's nothing..." and all else that might suggest the same. Not that I got myself into innumerable flurries to merit such advice, but it simply took me awhile to do what I intended to do in Thailand (and in everyday life) - to relax. So after I heard that said to me, by my husband included (he gets acculturated really fast) I tried to say it to myself, "mai pen rai". And it has become since then my "om".

When the head is quiet, the heart is at peace. Consequently, the sun is brighter, the weather is lovelier, the river calmer, the stupas grander, the temples holier, the caves darker, the mountains higher, the animals tamer, the food spicier, the shopping cheaper. Everything just becomes extremely beautiful. The truth is, it always has been. I just need to see it with an uncluttered mind.

Now I am back living on the edge. In a country with only a ceasefire agreement with its enemy, not a peace treaty. What a perfect place to say, mai pen rai!

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Today in Seoul it's -3'C. Being born and raised in a tropical country, this temperature to me was unthinkable. But if you see me now, in my complete layered regala, you would think I've braved this weather all my life. That is just me taking it out on winter clothing. Underneath all that fur, I am cursing every negative degree found in Celsius. But tomorrow in just 3 clicks of my heels, I will be over the rainbow where it is 30'C. I will take no cellphone, I will check rien de emails, I will not log on Facebook, I will not blog. I won't have to cook a single meal for 10 days, there will be housekeeping, and I can wear shorts. Now that truly sounds like the other end of the rainbow when you come to think of it!

Where is that suitcase?

"When we truly care for ourselves, it becomes possible to care far more profoundly about other people. The more alert and sensitive we are to our own needs, the more loving and generous we can be towards others" - Eda LeShan, children's author.

Multilingual Children

It's fashionable now that children speak more than one language. A big reason is parents who come from different countries speak different languages, another because families live outside their country that has another mother tongue or bi-country families live in a third country, and there are also a few who simply want to raise a linguist. Studies show that when you speak more than one language to a child starting at 2 years old, it will make him smarter. Studies also show that crack babies are not any dumber (compared to non- crack babies). Why Joan of Arc's mother probably lived on goat cheese, tuna canapés and wine while conceiving and yet came up with such an offspring as Joan of Arc! The irony is that parents don't have complete control over how smart or dumb their descendants will become. From utero to college, children are and will be a class of their own. I did write a blog earlier that the way we relate to our kids directly affects how they will be as adults. That is written purely in the context of parent-child relationship and has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with how many Einstein DVDs we let them watch, how elaborate our craft activities are or how many organic apples we give them and for that matter how many languages we try to instill or install in their heads. In fact, the manner of giving birth, C-section or vaginal, does not entirely affect their brain development. In the same way that it is not the amount of fish oil a mother gets while pregnant that guarantees a spot in Harvard Law School. Children will speak a language. Sometimes more than one. But whether that is telling of the sum of their Intelligence Quotient is debatable. Language is a skill. Intelligence is genetic. Children are from God.

This morning little Oliver put on a hat and said, "kalo" (a Filipino dialect -Surigaonon- word for "hat"). Awhile later, he was beckoning his toy horse "iriwa" 이리와 (Korean for "come here"). Mostly he speaks English because that is what we speak at home. But toddlers learn whether we want them to or not. And remember, they don't wear a watch. 

"It takes twenty years to become an overnight success." - Eddie Cantor